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Shit I Bought and Liked: The Shitter's Stain Removal Guide
Shitters! I’ll be the first to say that today’s rec is probably not what you’re used to seeing from me, but it’s under $15 and I’ve been blown away since the day I got it, so here goes nothing!
There are a lot of things my mother is exceptionally good at. Taking care of patients. Running a business. Keeping her cool despite having three chaotic kids. But today I’m going to talk about the most stereotypical mom thing of them all—the woman knows her way around a stain. I’m not exactly sure when or where she picked up these skills (or how she learned which of the 8 million products in her laundry room to combine?)—all I know is that for my whole life, I’ve been able to rely on her to save my favorite items of clothing from my very worst stains.
Sadly, these are not skills that we share. I grew up on Tide Pods (using, not eating), I’ve never hand-washed in my life, and I don’t think I used liquid detergent at all until my mid 20’s… (I’m still pod-only when it comes to the dishwasher). I’m not proud of this, but it’s all to say that my skill level here is very basic.
When I’d run into a stain, I’d attempt to experiment with random sprays or wipes—sometimes they’d work, mostly they wouldn’t. And for awhile there I got into the very expensive habit of running to the dry cleaner at the first sign of any issue—a solution I learned doesn’t always work! (RIP to my white Slvrlake slit jeans—an unreal sale find ruined forever by red wine and unable to be revived despite three attempts by Larchmont Cleaners.)
But, as you may have surmised, this story does have a happy ending!
Recently, while scrolling through Instagram stories for what was undoubtedly the 85th time of the day, I saw a recommendation from beauty editor Kristie Dash for this somewhat bizarre-looking stain remover spray that she claimed works on everything, especially oil stains. Now if we were judging books by the cover, this would’ve been an immediate pass—the branding here is straight up kooky. But that bit about oil stains got my attention, because anyone whose tried knows that those require X Games level laundry skills. They’ve been the leading cause of death of shirts and sweats in my closet over the past few years, and if what she claimed was true, this would be HUGE.
So I did what any curious person with a spending problem would—took one for the team, and ordered it on Amazon Prime. I didn’t have a fresh stain to test it out on, so I unearthed a sweat set from The Great with a months old oil splotch to try and give it a go.
I followed the instructions—spray, rub, sit for 10 minutes, and wash as usual—with appropriately low expectations, but when the sweats came out of the dryer, you would’ve thought I was the OxiClean man. It was a fucking MIRACLE.
But one miracle wasn’t enough! We abide by the scientific method in this household! So I tried it again on a cooking stain on the cuff of a cream sweatshirt. Once again—poof! Gone! And then again on another oil stain on a workout tee (between hair oils and moisturizers and cooking, these seem to get on all my comfy clothes). As good as new!
When it comes to cleaning/dishwashing/laundry products, I generally prefer to go to less toxic route. This is stuff we sleep on, cook and eat off of, wear all day, etc. and to me the swaps are worth it. But all of that went out of the window when it came to this spray. God only knows what’s inside this stuff—I, a mere mortal, simply do not want to know. I use it sparingly and it’s saved me from having to toss some not so cheap things that would’ve otherwise been ruined or relegated to at-home wear only.
If you’re like my mom, you probably already have everything you need and then some in your arsenal. But if you’re closer to my speed, I highly recommend grabbing this stuff. This and detergent are the only laundry products I own, and that has been just fine for me. I only wish I had had it sooner!
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Other things I’ve been loving lately: My new favorite East Coast bagel. This Free People workout tee (I sized up by two!). TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT, oh my god. I spent the flight back from her LA show curating my personal Eras Tour Setlist, and I don’t think I’ve listened to any other music since. The Dark Knight trilogy—rewatching it a decade-plus later not only made so much more sense, it was also unintentionally great prep for Trump’s RICO charge. Though these running shoes are bit clunky, they are like walking on a cloud. I will continue to sing the praises of Nippies until the end of time.
I hope I’m changing someone’s life with this rec, just as mine was changed by receiving it! As always, if you try it, please let me know what you think! And if you have questions/feedback/requests/etc., I’m all ears! I hope you all are enjoying the last few official weeks of summer. Feel free to sit in the grass or dirt or do just about anything else that would make a mess of your clothes—you’ve got it covered now!