Shitters! GOOD EVENING! Today’s letter comes to you from my deathbed (aka my couch, where I’m stuck at home with a cold). Not to worry—I’m armed with $30 worth of Juice Generation, the new Dan Brown book (Hudson News and I missed you, king), and my brand new Frame TV (I have yet to actually watch anything on it, but if my headache dies down, tonight may be the night!). Amazon didn’t discount these over the summer so I assumed this time would also be a no go, but the 55 inch is almost 50% off today! While I do regret paying a full $100 more than this just two weeks ago (I thought there was no way I was finding a better deal), I was debating between the 50 and the 55, and have not once regretted going bigger.
Anyways, I was wondering why some of the new Taylor album had started to grow on me in the last 24 hours, but now I have my answer—I was ILL! (KIDDINGGG.) I have many thoughts on the album, and have spent a lot of time over the past few days listening to it as well as to the critiques. I didn’t agree with the NYT Popcast guys on a lot of things (calling Actually Romantic better than everything on Charli xcx’s Brat combined is a BAFFLINGLY bad take), but I did find the context in their track-by-track dissection interesting, and I liked this letter by
a lot! Not that any of you asked, but I’m including some of my own thoughts below.I’m a fan of a lot of Taylor’s music, especially Reputation (I say it’s tied with Folklore for my favorite album of hers, but there are more from Rep that I come back to regularly), so I was definitely excited about this reunion with Max Martin and Shellback. But, perhaps unsurprisingly, much of this fell flat for me.
First and foremost, the writing. It’s tighter than TTPD (points for that, I suppose), but a lot is just… not for me. Taylor said in an interview that she loves to blend new with old in her lyrics, but I personally reeeeally do not like when she uses slang (e.g., “Keep it 100 on the land, the sea, the sky/ Pledge allegiance to your hands, your team, your vibes”). It’s a CATCHY beat, but those are silly words! (Though “Pledge allegiance to the vibes” would do numbersss as a frat boy Fourth of July Instagram caption.) I found choices like that to really color my initial experience with songs I could’ve otherwise liked (I’m thinking of Eldest Daughter in particular, but it applies to others as well.)
I also found this album more lyrically repetitive than others—multiple keys, dicks, and eldest daughters mentioned (I could’ve done without the dicks entirely), multiple songs that rhyme the same words with each other in single lines. I don’t know if this was actually the case, but to me, it felt rushed, and like we could’ve gotten (much) stronger final drafts with more time.
Another issue to me was that it didn’t feel very cohesive. We were sold songs under the thematic umbrella of The Life of a Showgirl, but to that end I’d say we got very little? Maybe Elizabeth Taylor and the title track? But what business does a Fearless-y song like Ruin The Friendship (one that I actually really like, but literally references prom and characters from her time in high school) have being on the same album? To be different from my expectations is fine—to me this album feels very unapologetic in general, whether that be in her word choices, asserting her power on Father Figure, standing up for her CANCELLED! friends, etc.—but it also felt all over the place.
There are more than a few tracks that I could’ve done without—Opalite (kudos to her brother on the opening line, but what in the Old Navy commercial is that chorus?), Actually Romantic (eh… didn’t sit well with me), Wood (commentary WITHHELD from this family-friendly newsletter!!!!), CANCELLED! (not my primary issue, but “Welcome to my underworld where it gets quite dark” felt glaringly like musical theater). But there were also bright spots.
Highlights: I didn’t care for the “bad bitch/savage” portion of the program, but the bridge of Eldest Daughter is one of my favorite 30 seconds of Taylor ever, I could cry thinking about it. Ruin The Friendship is emerging as one of my favorites on this album, despite having literally nothing to do with the rest of it. CRY MY EYES VIOLET, ELIZABETH TAYLORRRR 😈 Could I have used more the last great american dynasty-style storytelling on that track? Sure. But a Rep-style chorus goes far in my book! (Though as
says, “Be my NY when Hollywood hates me” makes WAY more sense for Rep-era Joe Alwyn than it does for Redwood Tree over there...) I love the way Honey and The Fate of Ophelia sound—I wish we got a few tweaks on the words. And of course, a few gems from the good people of TikTok: Tony Soprano and Chrissy are tailor-made for a Father Figure edit (a song that has grown on me—I can appreciate a key change!), and I need this End Game/Wi$h Li$t mish mosh straight into my veins (sorry to join the chorus, but thisss is the Max Martin euphoria that I wanted!!!).I acknowledge that I certainly do not know the life of a showgirl (and am probably also softer than a kitten!!!), but I am curious to know your thoughts on the album, your thoughts on my thoughts—all of it!
Related Reading:
OK, now for the Prime Day stuff, because today’s letter would not be complete without a second billionaire!!! I have the same hangups about Amazon as everyone, but I do still use Prime for the occasional rush order of Allegra, Scotch tape (gotta pack up those returns somehow), and what I affectionately refer to as “random Amazon shit that’s actually great.” More on that below:
The World’s Best Steamer
I’ve had other steamers before, but none hold a candle to this one. It heats up in literal seconds, works on garments or fabrics that are lying flat or are hanging up (helpful if you’re short on space and steaming on your bed, like me), and doubles as an iron. This has made all the difference in me leaving the house feeling crisp and put together versus rumpled and wrinkly, even if I’m short on time/making the requisite 5-10 outfit changes before I settle on one I like.
Nori Sweater Shaver
Cashmere pills—there’s no way around it. There are cheaper options out there, but this is the best sweater shaver I’ve tried. It’s quick, easy to use, and doesn’t leave your sweater feeling suspiciously thin afterwards (in fact, they look pretty new after a quick spin with this thing). If you invest in your pieces, it’s worth investing in the tools to preserve them!
Grandma’s Secret Stain Remover
The OG Stain Remover. This has saved me (and so many friends) more times than I can count. I trust it with all my favorite tees and sweatshirts that inevitably get stained from HAVING A LIFE (aka spilling on myself while eating lunch).
Rael Heating Patches
If you get cramps around your period, these are a miracle. They’re adhesive herbal patches made for your lower stomach/uterus area (or for your lower back, depending on where you cramp) that heat up when they’re attached to you. They stay warm for hours, never get too hot, and are thin/discreet enough to wear under clothes while you’re at work or running errands.
Apple AirTags
I am so late to this it’s not even funny, but I had a package of AirTags sitting in my desk for the past two years that I FINALLY got around to opening. Idk why I assumed the setup was going to take an annoying amount of time—turns out, all you need to do to set up an AirTag is take it out of the packaging, pull a tab to activate, and then accept the notification that comes up on your phone? THAT’S IT. No charging (EVER)! No cumbersome set up! If I had known, I would’ve started using mine SO much earlier! This is likely NOT new information for most people, but if you’re like me, they’re so much easier than you think.
Sheets Organizers
These are fairly straightforward—they keep your sheets sets organized and compact, and ensure that you won’t be down a pillowcase or topsheet when you need one—but the real payoff is the satisfaction of opening a linen closet to find it NEAT and ORGANIZED instead of a complete clusterfuck.
Cervical Spine Neck Pillow
I’ve talked about this pillow before—it really has changed my experience with neck/shoulder/trap pain. I liked it so much that I got another to keep in my bed at my parents house, but now my mom keeps stealing it, leaving my bed pillow-less when I come home to visit! I’m thinking I should probably send another one over there now just to get ahead of it.
OG SIBAL Favorites on Sale:
The one and only mini water bottle (I loved this so much that I wrote about it for NYMag!). This is THE perfect travel pillow (it propped up my bowling ball head over a 16 hour flight in economy earlier this year—HATS OFF). I will never stop shouting out Goop’s heavy-duty salt scrub. My beloved T3 blowdry brush is $60+ off. This travel-sized refillable face wash is an OG favorite! My hangover aid of choice (buy directly from their site with code PRIME30)! My favorite candles to gift are now under $40. Nippies forever! I would never sleep without these melatonin gummies. And Nutrafol is always worth stocking up on at a discount.
What’s in my cart, you ask?
A stainless steel milk frother. I’m trying to swap out the plastic in my kitchen, and this is an easy upgrade (to that end, this cutting board is an investment, but one of my favorite things in my home—I got it last year on Prime Day). A portable phone charger—I’m sick of getting ready to leave the house only to find that my phone’s at 7% (several people who know me IRL are breathing a sigh of relief at this). And a couple restocks: First on my pricey-but-worth-it cotton pads (so much thicker than any others on the market), and also these XL Clean Skin Club Towels.
That’s all for today—hopefully my sick brain didn’t miss anything important!!!