Fake Prime Day Picks
We can all agree that “Big Deal Days” is the world’s dumbest branding, right?
Shitters! I’m not usually a big Amazon girl (insert the usual disclaimers about how Amazon is bad, etc.), but over the past week and a half I’ve amassed quite the cart in anticipation of their “Big Deal Days” (which is essentially just round two of Prime Day, just not on a prime date?).
I’m not proud of this for several reasons, including but not limited to the fact that the branding sounds like something the football player in your marketing group project would come up with. However, if said football player went on to say… beat Bama, I think we’d just have to go with it?? (If I had been in school for this, there is zero chance I would’ve been at the game, but I would’ve definitely had a prime view of the goalposts going into the river from the roof at Acme, which has to count for something!)
Speaking of Amazon, in the power-rankings of publicly annoying billionaires, Jeff Bezos currently seems to be in last place! For that he can thank his competition, who have been busy flailing around at Trump rallies (I guess this applies to DJT too)/posting things like this on Instagram. These things can shift on a dime, but for now, congratulations to Jeff! As your prize, we will shop your little sale.
There are quite a few long-standing Shitter favorites that made the “big deals” cut this time around: The cervical spine neck pillow that dramatically reduced my back and shoulder pain. The overnight face masks that let you wake up with the smoothest skin of your life (for $3ish a pop! I use them weekly). A splurge-worthy serum/moisturizing duo that will replace your vitamin C, retinol, and hyaluronic… And those were just the ones that got their own newsletters (1/2/3, for reference)!
I took a minute to organize all the Shit I Bought and Liked via Amazon for the occasion, in case you want to see it all in one place! (Apparently they are not big fans of bad words over there…)
I tend to use sales like this to make a home/kitchen splurge if I’ve been eyeing one for a while, while stocking up on any aggressively marked down staples (think dishwasher pods, face towels, etc.). My big purchase from last time around was this John Boos cutting board, and I am pleased to report that it is DIVINE. The wood is a little higher maintenance than your typical cutting boards (I use these once month to make sure it’s all sealed), but it’s so sturdy and beautiful and I know it will last a lifetime (plus no slipping/sliding while chopping is huge). The maple versions are slightly less expensive, but I knew I wanted dark wood (and that I only planned on making this investment once!), so walnut it was for me!
Other sale highlights include this bedside charging stand for your phone/Airpods, my go-to sunscreen with zero white cast (at $12 a bottle, I will be stocking up), the best candles to gift/keep for yourself (Black Rose & Vetiver is my all-time favorite), the nipple covers I reach for over any strapless bra (this brand tends to last me a year!), the sweater shaver I use to de-pill all my wool/ cashmere, and the one hairbrush that replaced all my others.
